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I am waay behind the times. On Friday I (oh, in addition to meeting my hairdresser again XD) loaded IRC and can use it now! I remember once using it to download manga after reading a long and confusing tutorial about how to set up my filesharing and the difference between xdcc and fdcc (?), but that was a failure, I think I hung around in a channel typing !help several times before choosing a file at random and consequently discovering Shin Angyo Onshi.
Now I have a whole new world of ebooks to read on the train. I have already started reading "Postsingular" by Rudy Rucker. The world gets taken apart by nanobots in the second chapter ^^. I also want to read "I am Legend" because I never went to see the movie, which is disastrous considering how many times it has come up in conversation. And a book based on Lovecraft's Cthulhu because I need more horror. Ah, I will have to search through the history to find that title again !!! So annoying!

I ran out of coffee today O_O. Went to get more lifegiving grains earlier (this addiction is evil).
There has been a weird change in the weather. Before there was sunlight and birds and insects and people in the park during june I guess, now it feels like a deeper type of winter. Like nature has gone to sleep. It is definitely windier. I think I am very in-tune to the season this year.


Dynamic future

I came out of the habit of wondering what career path I might choose a long time ago. It was exciting to start studying at uni and get marks learn. So I don't know what to answer when my lecturer asked what I wanted to do. He suggested getting a phd... (IN WHAT?) But I'm so average I'm probably not suited for it.

I met my hairdresser at a random bus stop last weekend and she's awesome. She was kind of holding my elbow as we talked and I can't quite explain or comprehend what happened next. For reasons unknown even to me I clumsily reached out for her hand and we hugged.
We barely know each other so it wasn't a friendship hug. The best part of it is that I still feel happy about meeting her again (instead of awkward). I wish I hadn't asked for such a short cut!
I hope she's not lonely because it's sent my mind in a loop.

I have no idea if I should have mentioned that. My love life is virtually non-existant. The guy that I liked last session is in one of my classes again and we're friendly but he's hard to read.

In less serious news, yay Nanowrimo sent out an email. It has me thinking about writing again. Most of my files are all separate stories of passing fancy, but at least I've had more practice. Since I completely screwed up last year it's nice to know that I have another chance.


I just finished reading "Of Light, Shadow and Love" up to the point where they completely leave the story unfinished. They intended to write 3 volumes and the last news article is dated September 2003! Dr Lightsider has so much left to discover about his curse and his past, Tohru will never know if she is betrayed, and why are the clans gearing up for war!?
I almost can appreciate Harry Potter for it's terrible ending when the alternative is to never find out... wait, no, no I can't. The movies will be good.

The world that they create in the novels are wonderful. So full of color and strange dynamics, like the psi-virus and dark clubs and spires, advanced technology vs the old culture - which often are complementary instead o_0.

I'm full of mixed emotions right now.

Jul. 24th, 2009

The sunlight has tricked the cochroaches into surfacing in the middle of winter, I only hope it delays the summer plague. I pushed one down the sink yesterday morning and wonder if that's a humane way to kill them? Chemicals could either be intense pain - the cockroach equivalent - or acts like a drug where they dream of cockroach heaven and crush humans.
I like cockroach shells, I think the shape is stylish (except for those earth-cockroaches with the layered armor, that's just weird)


Jul. 22nd, 2009

Hello LiveJournal. Finally the artists block relents. The end of Sengoku Basara left me tattered and cynical about fiction entirely. There were no explanations, instead there was only a big light show. I'm tempted to call it a show for little kids, ignoring the fanart.

It was warm today, feels so good to wake up and not have to freeze to death trying to change out of my pajamas. I'm glad nobody's looking over my shoulder because I effectively accomplished nothing all day. I neglected violin practice and searched for books, authors. It's so difficult to know what to start reading from reviews. So I'm still looking.

no more rigidity

The book on my study desk is a worthy opponent.
I am delving more deeply into the world of physics and have borrowed "The Road To Reality: A complete guide to the laws of the universe" by Roger Penrose. It is 1045 pages long ~ ~
I always hated the way we were taught at school, I still can't believe the syllabus that high schoolers must abide by. Australia has this sick notion of fair education and actually I feel sorry for the richer kids who spend hours at private tutor facilities (cram school) concentrating on the substandard topics outlined by the board of studies.
Now I'm beginning to worry about the way we're taught at university. All my modules have different expectation of assumed knowledge. Trying to keep up with the tutorial sheets is hard enough without spending ages with intensive wikipedia study (which takes skills) and Google books.
Hence I'm currently locked in a staring contest with the brick-like Penrose on my desk. Excited to skip to the section about string theory, too neurotic to skip over the fundamentals. But overall glad something's moving in this clunky head of mine.

The chinese woman at the mall gave me a massage yesterday and wow. I have a headache it was that good. The guy gave me one last time, so I didn't expect that the woman would be like 2x as strong *cries*. She is good. I feel like my left thigh has run a marathon (without any help from the right o_0) and oooh my neck. There's a point there that hurt, I told her and she said it controlled external flexibility. She didn't slacken at all! In another ten seconds my body was completely gone. I felt like I was being tossed about in the ocean. Crazy.

Stress comes in waves

I stayed up until 4am last night talking to my friend who came over because she needed help in a subject that I've already completed. Most of that time we wasted with an interesting discussion about modern physics theories. She's reading a book called 'What are you Optimistic About' featuring conversations with leading scientists in string theory etc. Many are waiting on the results from the Large Hadron Collider about whether the Higgs Boson exists. The theoretical consequences may more relevent, personally I am more fascinated with the idea of possible applications. I doubt our ability to manipulate anything at that level but it's nice to imagine ^^. It is definitely a space to watch.

Excuse me if I get too typical LJ mylifewillfallapart now - My last exam is in 3 days and I sooo don't want to even think about this... but what am I going to do!? There's a guy in our class and we haven't talked much. He's quite pretty. At the start of the semester we only exchanged glances before class and I talked to him a couple of times while his friends were around. He seems like such a nice guy and normal. I want to say something to him but I'm way too scared. I could probably be happy with a completely uneventful holiday but I'm worried that if I don't at least exchange phone numbers then I'll miss my chance.
Why am I so pathetic when it comes to guys??? The only way this scenario definitely works is if I'm way overconfident and prepare myself to walk over while he might even be talking with his friends and ask for his phone number. How can I do that when my nerves are wracked from the all important exam!
I'm so worried about it all.
It will not stop raining.

so nice to feel so creative but I do not need this right now during exams. My drawing skills are shockingly poor, which on the bright side means that there is lots of room for improvement. Don't remind me. I can see it clearly enough every time I open a manga or venture into deviantart. Then, somehow I start reading this wonderful internet comic called MegaTokyo and it's forums and step by step I'm being led through the basics of character design with abundant examples. It even has a section devoted to writing development. Ideas overload.
I know I'm lacking a creative outlet (especially when I can't spare the effort on violin practice), so things like this can build up easily. It totally feels like I've been waiting for this to happen. Instead I spent all that time thinking about other people's fashion and experimenting with my own only to realize that very few even notice. Yes, I know I'm lame.

So, I tend to hate all the usernames I have ever chosen, it is a curse. Yesterday I discovered that you can change LJ usernames easily! I can't claim to be very stable when I created this account. And as soon as I discovered this neat little tool, I knew I definitely want to get rid of 'faefantasy' *evil-eyeglint*. Despite this string of stories and character names that basically ambushed my headspace over the weekend I can't come up with anything new and consistently good DX !

Ehehe, I watched a movie this morning called Save the Green Planet! It was hilariously funny I can't even begin to explain the craziness. Then 3/5th of the way through suddenly it shows this bloody flashback sequence of the main character's family and love getting manipulated and killed and ugh really sick things. When the movie returns to the present you get to see more of the guy's hide-out. The entire perspective changes instantly into a resemblance of Saw. Then it resumes the weird comedy and sci-fi history lesson wth?
I loved this movie, if you get a chance please don't discard it for the tacky cover! The editing is done very well.

There's a few other things I wanted to write about (like green energy...(guess why - that's just how my mind works X])) but it's getting a bit late.


It's that time of year - I don't handle exams well.
Yesterday I was so moody, and that tends to mean that anyone standing relatively close to me gets splashed with awkwardness. To make up for it I accidentally trapped myself in a long conversation with my mother so that she didn't feel like I didn't care and doing housework when I should have been studying for tomorrow's test. So here's the update I was going to write.

I have tried explaining this to people who don't know the series... they can't keep up.

Soul Eater Chapter 62 SPOILERSCollapse )

I have spent all my time during study break drawing and reading tutorials while I've been home. This is a long branch from my discovery of MegaTokyo (and it's endless forums) last weekend. The next page will be up soon!
It's not a total loss because I went to the library 4 of 5 days last week. I don't understand most people at my local library, it is such a cool place (and has warm air-conditioning in this freezing first-chill of winter) where they go to socialize, parents bring their kids, school-kids occasionally try to study for periods up to 5 minutes at a time before talking about their own social dramas, old asian guys have these really dynamic conversations that I listen to even when I don't understand a thing (it's fine because I can tune out whenever), and there is an endless supply of newspapers.
Newspapers! I don't know a thing about what's going on in the world around me. I asked an old lady and she immediately jumped to some local act of violence. Psh, I laugh at "news".
Anyway, my library is cool and it's easy to get into study mode there. I never play music while I'm at the library.